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Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 8:39am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6830
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cmayer : .

cmayer's page activity

Visits<b>OnAMission</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 1:38pm<b>Sj1147</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 9:16am<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 3:52pm<b>sjb_2015</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 6:29pm<b>tismael</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:28pm<b>uz101</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:40pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 11:46am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 6:17am<b>mondesno</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:18am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 11:46am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:47am<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:15pm<b>10220706</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:26am<b>Skarlun</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 9:51pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:41pm<b>ILOLAtYourLife19</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 2:46pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:08pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 6:58pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:16am

cmayer's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cmayer's badges

cmayer's favorite FMLs

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

by Dalistair / 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm / Romania (Buzau) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

by AwkwardHaole808 / 05/22/2013 at 6:52pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

by babs / 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

by clumsy / 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

by stretchy / 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

by perfecttiming / 05/06/2013 at 11:25am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

by FML136969 / 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 11:00am / United States / Work

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

by honeynuggetviolin / 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm / Money

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

by AbhorrentApplication / 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

by awkward O_o / 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy