Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cmac86

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

cmac86

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 24835
  • Number of comments : 1508
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>Phantomisr</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:23pm<b>jkp1291</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50pm<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:34am<b>clevergirl98</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:03am<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:38am<b>Vulkfury</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Melharr</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 2:26pm<b>brook823</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:53pm<b>Jay0501</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:46am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:24pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:32pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:20am<b>unluckyorwhat</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:33pm<b>myexactname</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:25am<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:29pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:06am<b>johnny692</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:01pm

Fucked!<b>Melharr</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:26pm<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:13am

cmac86's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (4477)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I'm purposely doing it to piss people off. FML

#21401709
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (1970)

On 04/29/2015 at 11:34am - misc - by horny - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

#21401411
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (4517)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

#21401085
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35347) - you deserved it (2607)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by WasNotAdopted (man) - United States (California)

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32038) - you deserved it (4653)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML

#21399347
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (1958)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boss' incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

#21399022
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (1749)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

#21398382
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37938) - you deserved it (2396)

On 04/23/2015 at 8:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

#21398063
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23564) - you deserved it (1832)

On 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm - health - by biomajor99 - United States (New York)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37578) - you deserved it (4708)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30630) - you deserved it (1955)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36961) - you deserved it (2232)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (3539)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (3983)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML

#21374972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (2974)

On 03/15/2015 at 10:57am - health - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: