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clutch__23

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clutch__23

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 214
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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clutch__23's page activity

Visits<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:02pm<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:31pm

clutch__23's FML badges

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YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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clutch__23's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43268) - you deserved it (5450)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44494) - you deserved it (6282)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

#20979337
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47004) - you deserved it (3772)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:54pm - misc - by phonegotlostinthepark - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43965) - you deserved it (4020)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (4865)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7731) - you deserved it (68210)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52739) - you deserved it (3517)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

#11434783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89928) - you deserved it (5889)

On 06/24/2010 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8197) - you deserved it (85913)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

#5972550
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (8813)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by HungryGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (6410)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

#2686671
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15017) - you deserved it (87754)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Free State)

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

#1987412
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47273) - you deserved it (19284)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Heifer (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (279804) - you deserved it (17758)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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