Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 8:18pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1661
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About claytwin : Howdy! I think Bronys are bizarre and they really creep me out.

claytwin's page activity

Visits<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 7:57pm<b>idance22</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 1:29am<b>theanonymousanon</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:09am<b>Bostern</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 4:09am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:49am<b>Psychotique</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:06am<b>1DreamCatcher1</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:53am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 11:16pm<b>molly471</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:10pm<b>memed</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 3:40pm<b>Nevermore3</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 2:59pm<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 1:16pm<b>spencerpajari</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:00pm<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 5:47pm<b>Avenger225</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 2:04am<b>XOLucy_21XO</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:49pm<b>hooAhhh</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 4:29am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 3:27am

Fucked!<b>theanonymousanon</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:09pm<b>1DreamCatcher1</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 1:52pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:21am

claytwin's FML badges


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of claytwin's badges

claytwin's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44470) - you deserved it (8304)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47821) - you deserved it (4735)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47313) - you deserved it (21614)

On 03/02/2013 at 10:32am - animals - by yikes - United States

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML


I agree, your life sucks (24622) - you deserved it (7395)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34117) - you deserved it (2614)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (70751)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33022) - you deserved it (2608)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (33834) - you deserved it (5542) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (80335)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36410) - you deserved it (3974)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18316) - you deserved it (43870)

On 09/25/2010 at 4:57am - misc - by trigfail - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27457) - you deserved it (59019)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (5648) - you deserved it (52374)

On 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm - health - by Skier (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11116) - you deserved it (35289)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: