claytwin

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Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 8:18pm)

claytwin

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1783
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About claytwin : Howdy! I think Bronys are bizarre and they really creep me out.

claytwin's page activity

Visits<b>californian21</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:35pm<b>viaaaaaa</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 2:14pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:03pm<b>kaleena97</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 3:15pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:11am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 3:06pm<b>texashater75</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 5:57am<b>crayon_chomper</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:42pm<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 9:25am<b>Bulbadragon</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 7:37am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:19pm<b>anonwilliam</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:28pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 7:57pm<b>idance22</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 1:29am<b>theanonymousanon</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:09am<b>Bostern</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 4:09am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 1:49am<b>Psychotique</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:06am

Fucked!<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 12:11pm<b>theanonymousanon</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:09pm<b>1DreamCatcher1</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 1:52pm<b>vikingchick</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:21am

claytwin's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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claytwin's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

by yikes / 03/02/2013 at 10:32am / United States / Animals

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 9:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Kids

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

by great / 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States / Work

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I failed my trigonometry exam because my scientific calculator was on the wrong setting. FML

by trigfail / 09/25/2010 at 4:57am / New Zealand (Taranaki) / Geek

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

by Skier / 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

by limecat / 10/06/2009 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous