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clashatdemonhead's favorite FMLs
Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML
by Embarassed / 03/15/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML
by shia / 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
by drebel / 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by anonymouse / 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm / Reserved / Intimacy
by tinygirl / 03/07/2011 at 1:16am / Health
by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 6:43am / France (Alsace) / Love
by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 1:07am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
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