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Offline (the 12/01/2014 at 3:56am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2079
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About clarissaaa : Be happy stress less and enjoy the little things in life!

clarissaaa's page activity

Visits<b>SynysterRussian</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:07am<b>raresc</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 1:40am<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 6:45am<b>s13495</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 11:06pm<b>SmuggletheBudgie</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 7:24pm<b>huntdog1541</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 12:31pm<b>B0SSAHOLIC</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 9:24pm

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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clarissaaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

by mydaughterisdisturbed / 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Health

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm / Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

by annoyed / 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

by dating a fucking idiot / 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids