About ckjy : Expat Kiwi from Auckland. INFP. Totally facetious.
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ckjy's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Mia / 08/20/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/30/2014 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids
Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML
by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML
by Palindromesque / 09/04/2013 at 5:07am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, at work, because I have been having bowel problems I sat longer than normal on the toilet. I… Today, at my shop my nephew proudly told me he had just sold thousands of pounds of merchandise. I… Today, I had a job interview. I also slept in late, my car doesn't work and my brother canceled on…