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cjblue

Offline (the 01/22/2015 at 8:03pm) | Search for a member

cjblue

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 108
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cjblue's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of cjblue's badges

cjblue's favorite FMLs

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (3564)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33933) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39072) - you deserved it (38021)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (5142)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52388) - you deserved it (16907)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60189) - you deserved it (5145)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46011) - you deserved it (3971)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

#21014763
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43058) - you deserved it (8425)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by FMLPLZ (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

#20957730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48606) - you deserved it (15497)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (4264)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38241) - you deserved it (3385)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

#20930096
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44234) - you deserved it (2983)

On 10/22/2013 at 10:24am - kids - by jdawn99 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39673) - you deserved it (6696)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)



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