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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 December 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2270
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About cjammer : Military wife. Aspiring author. Cynical, sarcastic. Fat. Fat as in, woah, that's a huuuuge bitch, but I'm slowly and steadily working on it (-34lbs in 3 months so far). NIN and Slipknot have a rather coincidental and stalkerish habit of writing about my life...which is just as well, because Trent and Corey are gods. Football, hockey and paintball are the best sports ever to be invented. I'm a hardcore gamer, and none of that WOW shit. Give me a pink XBox controller, and I will tear your ass in any FPS you put in. I'm disgustingly obsessed with the Playboy bunny. I'm on a never-ending mission to rid the world of stereotypes, hatred and ignorance, one person at a time. No, I don't wear contacts. Yes, that is a freckle on my nose. And I'm 99% sure someone hacked my account in the past couple days because I definitely haven't attempted to post 18 FMLs since the last time I was on.

cjammer's page activity

Visits<b>minnymiss</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:43pm<b>moophasa</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:01am<b>TuChiLE_MeXiCaNO</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:16am<b>jman5415</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:05pm<b>AMCE</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 4:01pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:26am<b>Lanker</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:09am<b>Usuario</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:02pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:05pm<b>farleytb42</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:28pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 6:25pm<b>LC3290</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 7:23am<b>cdw2014</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:56am<b>ladystate</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 7:16pm<b>RadGhost</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:58pm<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 7:44am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:05pm<b>hey_its_me_</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:31pm

cjammer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cjammer's favorite FMLs

I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up an asks fir a smoke. I say "I've got something u can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts fir bieng a douche. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8457) - you deserved it (38360)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at mah school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 fir Haiti . They r doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money . FML


I agree, your life sucks (38319) - you deserved it (3909)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10864) - you deserved it (22479)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today , I was on a long-haul plane journey home from mah holiday. After 5 hours , I decidd to stretch mah armshilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching , running down the aisle as mah arm stretchd out. I accidentally clothes-lind a looool little 9 year old girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (3608)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by James4929 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, mah bast friand was taxting ma about har sick dog. Sha wrota "Do u think sha will gat battar?", so I wrota "I hopa sha doas". It wasn't until latar that I raalizd I accidantally wrota "I hopa sha dias" instaad.


I agree, your life sucks (31098) - you deserved it (8496)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, mah 8 year old son decidd to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well playd son. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30906) - you deserved it (6948)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today , I introduced mah family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. big fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (10499)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)

Taday my brother's best friend spent the night an was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot an as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face an told my parents. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14176) - you deserved it (119833)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was mah boyfriend's brthday . He wanted a blowjobhile playing Call of Duty 4 . In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller downhen he died . Into mah head . FML


I agree, your life sucks (60457) - you deserved it (25990)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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