cjammer

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cjammer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 December 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2517
  • Number of comments : 94
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About cjammer : Military wife. Aspiring author. Cynical, sarcastic. Fat. Fat as in, woah, that's a huuuuge bitch, but I'm slowly and steadily working on it (-34lbs in 3 months so far). NIN and Slipknot have a rather coincidental and stalkerish habit of writing about my life...which is just as well, because Trent and Corey are gods. Football, hockey and paintball are the best sports ever to be invented. I'm a hardcore gamer, and none of that WOW shit. Give me a pink XBox controller, and I will tear your ass in any FPS you put in. I'm disgustingly obsessed with the Playboy bunny. I'm on a never-ending mission to rid the world of stereotypes, hatred and ignorance, one person at a time. No, I don't wear contacts. Yes, that is a freckle on my nose. And I'm 99% sure someone hacked my account in the past couple days because I definitely haven't attempted to post 18 FMLs since the last time I was on.

cjammer's page activity

Visits<b>blaze17</b> - 17 hours ago<b>suuoerwholock</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 1:20pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 11:45am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:49am<b>hiddenUSERNAME</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:21am<b>Spiral061</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:07pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 10:05am<b>xxthexmisfitxx</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 10:39pm<b>shamrock95</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 1:58am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 6:20pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 5:02pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 9:58am<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:27am<b>Sangogames</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:52pm<b>abby1212</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:03pm<b>futureot1</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 12:51pm<b>Necropool</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 8:10pm<b>Chiishinchu</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 1:03am

cjammer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cjammer's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

by wishihadpockets / 01/28/2010 at 5:24am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML

by evil / 01/27/2010 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

by ceedee / 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

by ScarredForLife / 12/25/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

by jeeperspeepers / 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

by jinxofsocal / 06/21/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy