cjack188

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/10/2016 at 4:31pm)

cjack188

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 August 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1454
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About cjack188 : I study town planning. I love the sims 3, Harry potter, desperate housewives (t.v series). I'm always open to meeting new ppl and hearing other ppls stories, that's why I love this site :)

cjack188's page activity

Visits<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:40am<b>Quendolin</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 9:05am<b>forever_sushi</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:01pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:57pm<b>sohigh10</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:41pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:47am<b>PeppermintPenny</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:04pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 11:07pm<b>mellajella</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:29am<b>Georgia0p</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:41am<b>giant_beaner</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:43am<b>Captainapplez</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:51am<b>Oihana</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 5:44pm<b>angiotensin</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:35pm<b>sarahsmith94</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:31am<b>Kissell</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Black_Rose_14</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:15am<b>carpedenoctem</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 3:07pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:07am

cjack188's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of cjack188's badges

cjack188's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2015 at 1:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, a week after my miscarriage, my little sister thought it appropriate to wrap her belt around her neck and scream, "Hey look, it's your baby!" FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids

Today, I went to my boyfriends house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

by rabbitkiller / 06/20/2015 at 6:42am / China (Nei Mongol) / Animals

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm / Australia / Kids

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

by BannedfromFriend / 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

by actually just constipated.. and stupid / 03/04/2015 at 10:03am / Tunisia / Health

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

by lady parts / 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 3:31pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

by SadMother / 10/04/2014 at 3:52pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was in a restaurant bathroom, when another girl walked in. I have anxiety issues, and couldn't leave my stall until the other person went first. She rushed into a stall and had violent diarrhea for a good 10 minutes. FML

by rachelhope / 07/11/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids