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Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 6:42pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6205
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About citlali06 : My name is Citlali ( I have a pretty unique name)
I like to read books and hangout with friends.
I am nice and easy going.

citlali06's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 12:09pm<b>Sinful1</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:53am<b>rhino514</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:43pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:40am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:15pm<b>stalker99</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 8:06pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 6:28pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 3:38pm<b>swint777</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 5:50pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 3:39pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:00pm<b>ebarton14</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 12:28am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:13am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 8:05am<b>Gmoney12</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 1:49pm

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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citlali06's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

by not even getting any of her shrimp / 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML

by norina / 02/11/2014 at 5:01am / Work

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

by Shooting myself / 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2014 at 10:40am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

by ZombiexIce / 02/09/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

by jigglepuff / 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

by took it / 02/09/2014 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

by sciencesadness / 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

by vey / 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

by AnonymousQuagga / 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Texas) / Work