christge1beast

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christge1beast

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2296
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About christge1beast : I'm a rather interesting person I'd like to think. I enjoy meeting new people. I come off as shy and quiet, but once you get to know me I can be quite the opposite.

christge1beast's page activity

Visits<b>bisousmaddie</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:56pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 8:10am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:14pm<b>MysticAmmu</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:04pm<b>xcllla_</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:13am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 6:37pm<b>DMA0712</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 5:40pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:13am<b>ForbbidenSky</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:13am<b>Alexxandre</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 5:54pm<b>GEFStryker</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 4:50pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 6:10pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 1:01am<b>yoitsbeau</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:30pm<b>TeenDragCarm5sos</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:24pm<b>queen2016</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:34am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 1:44pm

christge1beast's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of christge1beast's badges

christge1beast's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 2:18am / Work

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

by anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

by Bart / 07/03/2015 at 12:32am / Work

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm / United States / Animals

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I took my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said "Never take a shit in this place! Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

by justin bieber's nutsack / 06/06/2015 at 3:32am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

by CassidyQueen / 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

by homo fuckofftus / 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm / United Kingdom / Transportation