chocolatetaco

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chocolatetaco

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 February 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1042
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chocolatetaco's page activity

Visits<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:41pm<b>ayazdgrade</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 9:04am<b>lovelyheadache</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 3:11am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 10:55pm<b>chargers2588</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 1:16am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 9:24pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 1:16am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 5:42pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:59pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 11:28am<b>armedenglish21</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 9:22pm

chocolatetaco's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of chocolatetaco's badges

chocolatetaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

by hes / 10/15/2013 at 6:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

by roundtherose / 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm / Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla) / Health

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

by happyturtle / 10/10/2013 at 7:27am / Croatia / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2013 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

by she knows / 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Animals

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

by british_babe / 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have replace my $120 calculator. FML

by Stupid / 09/18/2013 at 4:46am / United States (Missouri) / Money

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

by BaMiTsAnYa / 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML