chilltime

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chilltime

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 647
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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chilltime's page activity

Visits<b>iclubfrodo</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:51am<b>bryan1271999</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:10am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:22pm<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 11:21pm<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 3:08pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 2:37pm<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 3:03pm<b>Freethaawave</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 11:51pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/04/2013 at 3:01pm<b>bitchwhore</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 6:41am<b>alibear7</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 8:15pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:32pm

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Consolation prize

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chilltime's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

by Norvi / 09/14/2013 at 1:51am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

by :| / 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

by SlothyMolly / 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm / United States / Work

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

by kinky / 08/04/2010 at 8:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous