About chickinblue : Simple girl who likes Fml and decided to get an account.
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chickinblue's favorite FMLs
Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML
by MouserMan / 10/22/2014 at 10:47am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by BoobiePain / 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML
by TalkDirtyToMe / 10/10/2014 at 3:33pm / New Zealand / Intimacy
by catgiraffegirl / 09/23/2014 at 2:30pm / United States / Health
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML
by I need a new ballsack. / 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health
by HeIsKindaRightTho / 09/16/2014 at 12:31am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by Wingman527 / 09/15/2014 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals
Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML
by lolwut / 09/11/2014 at 2:33am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Crash / 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML
by sydspears3 / 09/09/2014 at 2:08pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by StillPissedOffAtIrony / 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (Florida) / Work
- Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on… Today, I discovered that dogs can menstruate. Today, I also spent an hour scrubbing a 3-foot-long…