chickenwalrus

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chickenwalrus

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2584
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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chickenwalrus's page activity

Visits<b>ozzytheoso8</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 12:52am<b>ZacIngmire</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 7:42pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 6:36pm<b>pd93</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 7:42am<b>PhantomKitty</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 8:45pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 3:45pm<b>machone</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 11:48pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 8:51pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 5:11pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 7:42pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 10:12am<b>plsdonthateme</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:31pm<b>jill97</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 4:13am<b>LORDLYPSO</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 4:21pm<b>Bustedbutsilent</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 4:15pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:09pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:34pm<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 5:45pm

Fucked!<b>KangarooRat</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 3:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:53pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 9:43pm

chickenwalrus's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of chickenwalrus's badges

chickenwalrus's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells like pee. FML

by Bondi414 / 02/15/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy

Today, I was greeting customers at work. After saying good morning to one man, he stopped and looked at me from head to toe before smirking and saying, "Mmmm." He then turned around and said, "It's starting." It's only my first day. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

by elite / 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

by lolwtfbbq444 / 01/15/2012 at 5:24am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (Armagh) / Miscellaneous

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML

by Musicfreak / 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

by brownunderwear / 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

by flowerchildd2 / 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love