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chestnutp

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chestnutp

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  • Number of visits : 138
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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chestnutp's page activity

Visits<b>dahoss99</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 4:19pm

chestnutp's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of chestnutp's badges

chestnutp's favorite FMLs

Today, mah boyfriend drove me back home . My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap . He strokd the gun, lookd mah boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head . Now mah boyfriend refuses to see me fir his own safety . mega FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34813) - you deserved it (3853)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was giving mah guy a blowjob. When he blurtd out, "Oh Jesus" I assumd I was doing a good job. I lookd up to see the expression on his face an noticd a look of terror. He looool was staring at mah growling cat, two second away from clawing his face off. big fat FML

#20514475
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (5555)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, tha rollarcoastar I was on stuck upsida down for a faw minutas. I shat mysalf in tarror. Than, gravity took affact. raal FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (9833)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, mah cat was too overwieght to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, an went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste an clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12406) - you deserved it (25127)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, daspita having a mild casa of tha flu, I visitad my boyfriand's housa and watchad a movia with his parants . During tha movia, I falt tha suddan urga to snaaza . Trying to hold it in, I managad to do tha loudast fart I'va avar dona in my lifa . Evaryona haard . FML

#20107056
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25797) - you deserved it (5285)

On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, mah boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed an spray mehile singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (4586)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I Went To An Orchestra Concert. Halfway Through The Performance I Had To Fart Really Bad, So I Decided To Try And Sneak It In While The Orchestra Was Playing A Loud Exciting Part. Just As I Let It Rip, There Was A Dramatic Pause In The Music. Everyone Heard. FML

#19917515
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14066) - you deserved it (26062)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

YESTERDAY, I DECIDD TO SHAVE MY BALLS. WHEN I WAS FINISHD, I VACUUMD UP THE MESS ON THE CARPET, AN THEN THE FRAGMENTS OF HAIR STILL ON MY BALLS. VERY BAD IDEA. FML

#19196549
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8467) - you deserved it (52937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, after suffering with bad constipation an having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just poopd out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, an I'm still going. I've passd the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (5493)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

today there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning 4 the last half hour. FML

#18080795
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (6881)

On 10/26/2011 at 2:35pm - health - by lanikai610 - United States

Today... dog got his head stuck in a container... panickd... and shat himself all over the living room.

#16895004
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (3796)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , after bringing mah dog back inside , he startedhining. I thought it was cuz he wanted his toys , but he was really trying to say , "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him , leaving a trail down the hallway.

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (4489)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I caugt my dog attempting to sit on te carpet. Wen I saw im, I screamd. Startld, e ran around te ouse, continuing to take is sit. Now, I don't ave to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger unt an fine all of te scatterd turds. real FML

#8837524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22108) - you deserved it (11844)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Was Playing With My Cat An Holding Her Upside Down. She Startd Frantically Meowing, But I Still Continud On Playing With Her. Seconds Later, She Got Explosive Diarrhea Everywhere, Including My Hair, Face, Shrt, An Mouth. FML

#6040097
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10890) - you deserved it (80092)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

I was at my grlfriend's house 4 dinner. Her mom gave me some seasond cauliflower,hich I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my grlfriend's mom, I slippd the cauliflower of my plate an gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. real FML

#3502310
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11889) - you deserved it (50777)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:23am - animals - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)



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