About cherrio27 : so soccer's pretty cool...
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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cherrio27's favorite FMLs
by tom28402 / 02/22/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by poncho55 / 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
by Clive81 / 02/17/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML
by jessybear777 / 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, while skiing down a steep mountain, a man ran over my skis, causing me to fall and roll down the slope. When I regained my balance, I saw the man had followed me just to say "How graceful" and continue on. FML
by jostertoaster12 / 02/13/2015 at 3:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML
by doomed / 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by wtf?? / 02/09/2015 at 8:26am / Saint Vincent and the Grenadines / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm / United States (California) / Love
by fucked / 02/06/2015 at 3:06am / Singapore / Work
Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
by MIB thingy please... / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by anonpbc / 01/28/2015 at 8:51am / United States (Kansas) / Love
- Today, I was woken up at 1am with a migraine, by my husband who drunkenly called to ask if I'd like… Today, someone left a can of scentless bugspray next to the stove, I greased a cake pan with it and… Today, I rode the bus with my brother. He left his lunch box there and now my parents are blaming…