About cherrio27 : so soccer's pretty cool...
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cherrio27's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by yes i meant ex-boyfriend / 01/18/2014 at 4:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 2:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm / United States / Kids
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
by FattestUgliestPerson / 01/18/2014 at 4:45am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Kids
by unicorn_skies / 01/18/2014 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Money
by seth7_ / 01/18/2014 at 2:14am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by gimmeafknbreak / 01/17/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
by SqueakingRetard / 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by sausages / 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm / Macedonia (Karpos) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/17/2014 at 1:38pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML
by my cheese grater + your dick / 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven… Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her… Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've…