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chelzy

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chelzy
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3124
  • Number of comments : 180
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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chelzy's favorite FMLs

Today, I received the final piece of puzzle that my boyfriend of two years has been sending me through the mail for the last week. Turns out, it wasn't a love letter like I originally thought it was. He was breaking up with me via a puzzle through the mail. FML

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56359) - you deserved it (7233)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46415) - you deserved it (20078)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, I was visiting a national park and went for a swim. Afterwards, I needed to change clothes but the bathrooms were closed. I went off into the woods to change. As soon as I was naked, I heard hooves and sixteen people on horseback rode by. I'd stripped by a horse trail. FML

#1973395
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (16328)

On 05/16/2009 at 8:11am - animals - by FishStampede - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was visiting a national park and went for a swim. Afterwards, I needed to change clothes but the bathrooms were closed. I went off into the woods to change. As soon as I was naked, I heard hooves and sixteen people on horseback rode by. I'd stripped by a horse trail. FML

#1973395
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31342) - you deserved it (16328)

On 05/16/2009 at 8:11am - animals - by FishStampede - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

#1958201
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12467) - you deserved it (36843)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:20am - kids - by Sodge (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12369) - you deserved it (70150)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69096) - you deserved it (7814)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

#1382386
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (6923)

On 04/27/2009 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML

#1280200
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53882) - you deserved it (2661)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:36am - work - by Idiocracy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML

#1218026
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65528) - you deserved it (4539)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Bo (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (656071) - you deserved it (48818)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56423) - you deserved it (6414)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)



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