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chelzy

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chelzy
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3127
  • Number of comments : 180
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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chelzy's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML

#11790299
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (2659)

On 07/10/2010 at 8:03am - money - by Ecce (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at work using a wood finishing product that we apply by hand. After 2 straight days of using it I finally read the label. It said "This product contains a chemical known to the state of California to cause cancer". Good thing nobody told me. FML

#8794429
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17583) - you deserved it (9631)

On 03/03/2010 at 5:49am - work - by painter - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18081) - you deserved it (4191)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

#8292337
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27858) - you deserved it (3552)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was standing at the top of the stairs petting my dog. The doorbell rang and my dog bolted down the stairs, tripping me. I fell down the whole flight of stairs backwards. Turns out the person at the door was my brother who had locked himself out. I almost died for no reason. FML

#8118993
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17885) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:14am - love - by sari14 - United States (Virginia)

Today, while on my way to the break room, it seemed as if everyone was staring at me and giving me odd looks. I asked my friend, "Did I get prettier overnight or something?" She answered, "No, your shirt is just see-through." FML

#8011432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6834) - you deserved it (18889)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in my basement. I play drums and guitar very well. My girlfriend bet me $50 that she could play better than me. I made the bet, but what I didn't know was that she had been taking both drum and guitar lessons since she was 5. I just lost $50. FML

#7732713
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6437) - you deserved it (37786)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:54am - love - by unknown - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

#7447854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9748) - you deserved it (18551)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15730) - you deserved it (4550)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML

#7014682
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30025) - you deserved it (2555)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Grounded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6731473
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

#6459565
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12408) - you deserved it (32725)

On 11/26/2009 at 6:50am - misc - by harrypottermuch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

#6449433
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33894) - you deserved it (4354)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:39pm - love - by CombatShadow45 - United States (Florida)

Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to "close my legs and stop checking out her man". FML

Today, I went to the movies with the guy I have been in love with for a long time. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held my hand throughout the movie. Afterwards he asked me for advice on the girl he likes. Apparently she isn't talking to him anymore. FML

#6208718
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (2648)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:36am - love - by SkySkyChan (woman) - United States (Florida)



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