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Offline (the 02/03/2015 at 12:32am)



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  • Number of visits : 585
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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charify's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of charify's badges

charify's favorite FMLs

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

by highschoolsucks / 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

by frozenpoo / 01/20/2015 at 9:05pm / United States / Kids

Today, I have bad adult acne. This wouldn't be so bad, except that it's only on one side of my face. I look like a Batman villain. FML

by twoface_chick / 01/15/2015 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

by INeedaNewJob / 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, what I thought was going to be a lunch date turned into a life insurance sales pitch. FML

by WhiteCaribbean / 09/22/2014 at 3:38pm / Saint Lucia (Castries) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

by sirphilmckraken / 08/08/2014 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2014 at 4:40pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

by FMLkoala / 03/03/2014 at 2:43am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2012 at 3:17am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML

by RIP / 07/15/2012 at 1:02am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous