chaosincarnate

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chaosincarnate

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 411
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About chaosincarnate : Feel free to message me if you would like.

chaosincarnate's page activity

Visits<b>Thejackel79</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 3:24am<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 4:30am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 8:31am<b>theBadGuy37</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 1:21am<b>Applesarefum</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 11:45pm<b>Feijai</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 11:44pm

chaosincarnate's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of chaosincarnate's badges

chaosincarnate's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 7:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

by nicetomeetyou2 / 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

by Hannahb17 / 08/23/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML

by toriforever / 07/05/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous