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chanellgymnast

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chanellgymnast
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2448
  • Number of comments : 394
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About chanellgymnast : I'm Laura. I like meeting new people and I don't bite, unless you're into that kind of thing. ;-) I'm not that great at talking about myself so maybe if I keep my mouth shut, I could pass for elegant and mysterious...

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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chanellgymnast's favorite FMLs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44014) - you deserved it (5633)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (2471)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (1285)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19365) - you deserved it (1684)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32228) - you deserved it (9797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML

#20022416
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17788) - you deserved it (1173)

On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (2626)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32551) - you deserved it (4334)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (3982)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

#18967284
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (2154)

On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

#18795812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34292) - you deserved it (2679)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

#18138545
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32203) - you deserved it (5090)

On 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm - love - by DrakeScott (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

#18108798
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (2454)

On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

#17884041
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (4308)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States



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