cawoods

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cawoods

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1407
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About cawoods : Hey I'm me. That is all

cawoods's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 6:56am<b>Heisenberg666</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:49pm<b>chloe24601</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Katy888</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:09pm<b>Circles</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:23am<b>valerie_273</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 9:37am<b>QD</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 9:08pm<b>Roaryah</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:30pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:21pm<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:48pm<b>xx_moonwalker_xx</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:45am<b>4EverMarie</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:28am<b>LittleAngel768</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 4:22pm<b>maneatingants</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 6:38am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 6:29am<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 7:06am<b>Sam2029</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:47am<b>moveonkeepcalm</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 10:08pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 12:56pm

cawoods's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

cawoods's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

by Jessica S. / 09/06/2012 at 7:15am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

by ohhhemmgee / 09/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

by anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 12:44am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, my dad wants me to spray a wasp nest, because I'm the fittest family member and can run the fastest. The wasps are already angry, and I'm allergic to them. FML

by iliveintexas / 09/01/2012 at 10:09am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

by what.....? / 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

by ihatemondays / 08/23/2012 at 2:15am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:03am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 5:23am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

by c / 07/22/2012 at 12:50am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

by great / 07/20/2012 at 6:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

by 3hoursleftofwork / 03/28/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Animals

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

by brownunderwear / 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health