cattturine

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Offline (the 12/24/2015 at 8:54pm)

cattturine

38Fucked!

cattturinecattturine
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 927
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cattturine : My name is Catherine and I sleep a lot.

cattturine's page activity

Visits<b>zerozatch</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 12:12pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 1:50am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 5:50pm<b>jeory</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:27pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:21pm<b>stangluv</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 2:27pm<b>getoffmyscreen</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 10:58am<b>WolfsScar</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 3:10am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 10:58pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 7:06pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:08am<b>aaronsayshi</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 11:58pm<b>firefighter925</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:44pm<b>GolgiTendonOs</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:02pm<b>Kotine</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 10:34am<b>TheGreenEyedWolf</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 6:36am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm<b>cba7</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:15pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 6:50am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 10:21pm<b>stangluv</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 8:27pm<b>mdavis91pro</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:28pm<b>steven3677</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 7:07am<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:26pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:39pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 12:58am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:40am<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 8:35pm<b>JPjenny</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:33pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 5:42am<b>bps315</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 1:37am<b>iNewKid</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:47pm<b>aaronsayshi</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:58am<b>Malcazar</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:25am<b>steve1122</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:19pm

cattturine's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of cattturine's badges

cattturine's favorite FMLs

Today, my father, who is not familiar with keyboards, had me register his new email account for him at the public library. His username choice? "Wang dang sweet poon tang". People heard. FML

Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML

by moonbears / 10/22/2015 at 12:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2015 at 9:58am / United States / Love

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

by Blöde Gans / 11/25/2014 at 11:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

by SelfServiced / 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

by failure / 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 11:47am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous