cassssssssandra

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cassssssssandra

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 May 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 208
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cassssssssandra's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my parents confiscated my iPod, because the parents' group they go to came to the conclusion that music is a gateway to anti-social behavior. FML

by ihatemyparents / 01/22/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

by snitcheyes / 11/09/2010 at 11:00am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Animals

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

by BambooLove / 07/15/2010 at 2:53am / United States / Love

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

by thesadone / 07/03/2010 at 2:49am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

by Oops / 05/23/2010 at 5:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

by fml / 05/20/2010 at 5:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

by hater / 03/16/2010 at 6:55am / Love

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

by Lance / 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous