cash_monkey72

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Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 4:44am)

cash_monkey72

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1033
  • Number of comments : 109
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About cash_monkey72 : My life is as boring as shit, but it's still better than yours. You're probably here because either you enjoyed one of my comments, or because I offended you. If you enjoyed my comment, thank you for having a sense of humor. If I offended you, go fuck yourself. Oops, did I offend you again? If you're into post-hardcore I would recommend checking out my cousin's band, As Animals Eat my Insides. If you've read this far, I'm a little creeped out, but I'm ok with it as long as you're a hot girl. If you feel like giving away random money, message me, because I would send it to a very good charity, my back pocket. In my opinion, there is no point in living if there won't be a zombie apocalypse. Oh, and learn some fucking grammar people! You're = you are! Your = possessive! It isn't that hard!





The End

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Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 6:33pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 12:47am<b>Dead_Pool21</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:40pm<b>catirushing</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 10:39pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 2:26pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:50pm<b>mondesno</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 4:35am<b>constipation</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:12pm<b>sythe511</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Hunthas</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:12am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:38pm<b>coldasfire</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:46pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:02am<b>rylaii</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:41am<b>Plastinate</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 6:16pm<b>btob143</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 1:57am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 2:41pm<b>Supergirl1988</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:06pm

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cash_monkey72's favorite FMLs

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

by PuddlePirate / 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

by shelby124 / 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

by bubba / 10/17/2011 at 6:02am / China / Love

Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML

by jarrettsorko / 08/23/2011 at 12:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

by grant b / 06/09/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:42am / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

by Rory / 07/23/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

by Jesse / 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the supermarket and I see this little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I go over to him and ask if his mom knows where he is. The boy turns around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML

by jules / 04/17/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

by Monty / 03/01/2009 at 3:45am / United States (Oregon) / Health