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carrieislost

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carrieislost

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carrieislostcarrieislost
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1096
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About carrieislost : .

carrieislost's page activity

Visits<b>IceMan11</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:45am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:08am<b>andrewhoyt</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:24am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 6:39pm<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:26am<b>Dramori</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:05am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 12:06am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:28pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:43pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:06pm<b>toxicLover28</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:50pm<b>TheSwegMaster69</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:39pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 2:32am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:10am<b>abylenee_</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 9:23pm<b>adrianvons</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 3:16am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:41pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:35pm

carrieislost's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of carrieislost's badges

carrieislost's favorite FMLs

Today, after telling audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid looool in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you deserved it (2496)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair skin and nails vitamins . The only thing growing noticeably longer faster stronger and healthier r mah pubes . I've never sheared a sheep before but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable . mega FML

#21368822
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26129) - you deserved it (1)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while cleaning mah son's room, I found an envelope labelled ( PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL ) under his bed. I opened it, only to fine it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said ( HAH! Serve you right! ) an went to his room smrking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18180) - you deserved it (42)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

TODAY APPARENTLY WEN U TELL A AIRDRESSER "A LITTLE OFF TE SIDES." TEY EAR "A BOWL CUT PLEASE AND MAKE IT LOOK EXTRA STUPID." MEGA FML

#21354162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29436) - you deserved it (3273)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut piece in a bid to eat healthier snack at work. I noticd that the chunk were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it an kept eating. It wasn't until I reachd the final few piece that I noticd a huge black slug crawling acros the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29760) - you deserved it (4864)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I told mah dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I pickd it up I realizd it was a drid-out piece of shit. looool real FML

#21338477
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21002) - you deserved it (12209)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my usband confessed tat wen e's angry wit me, e uses my makeup sponge to apply is emorroid cream. FML

#21336401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34035) - you deserved it (3919)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

today I was brushing mah teeth. When it came time 4 me to spit... I absentmindedly opend the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24641) - you deserved it (11242)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today.. . my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me . I'm a massage/physical therapist an treat clients.. . mostly athletes.. . in my home . My neighbours saw the steady stream of young.. . buff guys coming to my house an concluded that I'm a gay prostitute . fat FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (2643)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today... only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 an has no children. She is 46 an has a pregnant daughterho she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather... but in any case... son is going to be one before me. FML

#21308718
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:29pm - kids - by Greatgrandpa (man) - Curacao

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart!! I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded fir two weeks, brthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser!! FML

#21292742
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35579) - you deserved it (8606)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

today I went down on mah grlfriend for the frst time . The words ( Christ, Jeff . It's a vagina, not a burrito . CALM DOWN! ) were spoken . FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38541) - you deserved it (10850)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as mah friend 4 Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought mah costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

#21289474
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (13927)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend told mah four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took mah sister shopping with me!! The woman at the till said she was adorable; mah sister replid, "Thanks, fatass." big fat FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31385) - you deserved it (2618)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into teres an started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, an now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. mega FML

#21285040
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33784) - you deserved it (5415)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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