Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cargaljen

Offline (the 07/28/2015 at 9:27pm) | Search for a member

cargaljen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 August 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 380
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 3 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cargaljen's page activity

Visits<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 7:56am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 12:44am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:36pm<b>weirdangelz2</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:54pm<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 7:12pm<b>moo_and_bloo</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 7:29pm<b>AlmightyZamorak</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 5:04pm<b>ThaReaper319</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:08am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 3:26am<b>armorman86</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:27am<b>AFCCT</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:21am<b>ineedagooduser</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:54pm<b>JuzReading</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:28pm<b>medre13</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:23pm<b>IsisDixon411</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 4:11am<b>YepThatsMeee</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 1:04am<b>wyomiller</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 12:33am

cargaljen's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of cargaljen's badges

cargaljen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, my husband suggested we get divorced, "for tax purposes". FML

#21145215
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49057) - you deserved it (4907)

On 05/19/2014 at 2:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, a nice couple came in to buy a car. I offered to drive it out from the line of cars for them, since it was a tight squeeze. They then watched as I managed to back it straight into another car, causing a large amount of damage to both. FML

#21143130
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36557) - you deserved it (20692)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:34pm - work - by cargaljen - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (4572)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36969) - you deserved it (8452)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved

Today, I pressed snooze on my alarm clock for one of the first times ever. I ended up being late to my 8am class, and when I showed up, I couldn't start the projector. I called Tech Support. They came... and pushed the large button labeled "power." The whole class laughed. FML

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41500) - you deserved it (3063)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML

#17393465
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32610) - you deserved it (4580)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by cargaljen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML

#17379762
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (3680)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:41pm - money - by sunflower226 - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (14961)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (9038)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

#14950396
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (4514)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:57pm - misc - by sadcartoons (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

#14950396
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32081) - you deserved it (4514)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:57pm - misc - by sadcartoons (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: