capthigh

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Offline (the 05/31/2015 at 3:14pm)

capthigh

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 605
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About capthigh : I make bad life decisions none of them have been FML worthy so far

capthigh's page activity

Visits<b>HarkMoppus</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 3:24pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 3:48am<b>Um_bye</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 3:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 2:44pm<b>zachix</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 8:16pm<b>Vichy</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 2:02pm<b>hernanjaimes_</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:06am<b>Cassandra2015</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 8:21am<b>MetalxSoldier</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 1:49pm<b>xEliteVenom</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 12:00am<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 2:47am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:51am<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 11:29pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:47pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 2:01am<b>skygage</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 3:50pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 5:29pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:44pm<b>zachix</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:16am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 1:47am<b>kee_breezy32</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:01am

capthigh's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of capthigh's badges

capthigh's favorite FMLs

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2015 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

by phones / 01/16/2015 at 12:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

by markerThief / 10/13/2013 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

by RickTheBoy / 07/10/2013 at 8:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

by tonedef / 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous