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captenawesome

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

captenawesome

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2271
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About captenawesome : Although I don't enjoy most people's company, I enjoy their misfortunes.

captenawesome's page activity

Visits<b>aha_awkward_</b> - yesterday at 12:54am<b>peachykeen93</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:19pm<b>linderp</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 3:54pm<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 12:10am<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:21pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:20am<b>_Tater_Tot_</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:09pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>sarahyep</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 10:50pm<b>koolboi69</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:07pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:14pm<b>stevieman99</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 4:39pm<b>haleymak_</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:17am<b>pharm121</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:09pm<b>Thisisascam</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:59pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:09am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:08am

Fucked!<b>Hop6e</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:20am<b>sarahyep</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:07am<b>pharm121</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 3:09am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:20pm<b>carrela</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:22am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 10:09pm

captenawesome's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of captenawesome's badges

captenawesome's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

#21457543
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (3128)

On 08/18/2015 at 9:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

#21455888
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21944) - you deserved it (8705)

On 08/14/2015 at 5:35am - work - by babbling idiot - Canada

Today, while enjoying the nice weather in a park, I opened my eyes to the sight of some guy jacking off, half-hidden behind a tree. FML

#21454744
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (1676)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:56am - misc - by ssjfml - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. When I went to change into tight jeans which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled: "It's the mommy show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

#21454009
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22846) - you deserved it (2082)

On 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

#21453336
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3076)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

#21446464
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (1564)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:02am - work - by fishingforubies2 - Aruba

Today, my grandpa accidentally posted a nude photo of himself on Facebook. I will never be able to unsee that. FML

#21440426
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (1990)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago, my boys convinced me to go out with the cute girl I had been talking to on Tinder. However, she wasn't cute, or a girl. He robbed me. FML

#21439092
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (4669)

On 07/09/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML

#21438922
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (8593)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:20am - intimacy - by who_cares - United States (California)

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

#21436613
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27150) - you deserved it (2078)

On 07/05/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (2862)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26068) - you deserved it (4295)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44417) - you deserved it (3317)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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