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captenawesome

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

captenawesome

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1803
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About captenawesome : Although I don't enjoy most people's company, I enjoy their misfortunes.

captenawesome's page activity

Visits<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:09am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:08am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:35pm<b>guitarki</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:52pm<b>imagineit</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:29pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:41am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:20pm<b>SweetIam</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:50pm<b>ProximityToDeath</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:37pm<b>aliceanon</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:32pm<b>carrela</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:22pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:38am<b>KayDee29</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 11:17am<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:44am<b>linderp</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 2:47pm<b>lovinlife028</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:32pm<b>shutupallison</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 2:04am

Fucked!<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 8:20pm<b>carrela</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:22am<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 10:09pm

captenawesome's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of captenawesome's badges

captenawesome's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39884) - you deserved it (2791)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (2361)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38226) - you deserved it (3123)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (3076)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37776) - you deserved it (4512)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31667) - you deserved it (7558)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41835) - you deserved it (2519)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29310) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (6840)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (3514)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (2274)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (7897)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37086) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24920) - you deserved it (45096)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



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