captainObviously

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captainObviously

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 898
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About captainObviously : All yee bow to I the FML KING!!


Here for a laugh!! And to belittle everyone online. Trololol

Message me and make me smile.

FYL, Not mine!!!

captainObviously's page activity

Visits<b>Clam_igger</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 7:46am<b>limitedition</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:22pm<b>alexanderjoe10</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:45am<b>saf99me</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Megwan05</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:54pm<b>its_bree</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 9:42am<b>fucMyLifeSoHard</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:10am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:17am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 5:38am<b>pink_lightning</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 5:20am<b>stardustjunkie</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 5:00am<b>noturaverageguy</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 4:20am<b>mathen</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 3:37am<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 2:53am<b>ecot95</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 2:44am<b>nchic01</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:10pm<b>dat_becky</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 2:36am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 1:09am

captainObviously's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of captainObviously's badges

captainObviously's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend bought another expensive bong to go with the one he bought last month, along with his new phone, airsoft gun, and various other things he's blown our money on this year. He's bought nothing to prepare for our son, though, who's due next month. FML

by InconsiderateMuch / 06/16/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

by lizzie / 05/25/2013 at 2:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

by sherrylynn / 04/19/2013 at 5:50pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML

by pantydropper / 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

by lanz4949 / 03/19/2013 at 12:40am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I sat through an incredibly long and tedious class lecture. Just as my professor was nearing the end of his lecture, the resident stoner loudly yawned and asked what we'd been talking about for the past hour. We got to hear most of the lecture all over again. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2013 at 12:44pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a chain-mail text that vividly described what "Tanya" would do to me in my sleep if I didn't forward it on. I'm so paranoid that I did just that. I also realized that accidentally forwarding such things to your boss can get you fired. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 11:35am / United States / Work

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom (Ards) / Health

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

by screwed / 02/10/2013 at 5:41am / United States / Work

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.