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capslockisgood's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 10:37am / United States / Intimacy
by failure / 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, my mom threw away a bag of tiny parts belonging to a $1,700 robot. Naturally, I figured this out at midnight and had to spend 30 minutes digging through three nasty trashcans overflowing with rotten food and spiders. The bag was dripping with what looked like cheese by the time I found it. FML
by Sen728 / 09/24/2014 at 10:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money
Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
by lucas_urev / 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
by unseeable / 08/29/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
by sonofaneuroticwench / 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by romancocks / 05/09/2014 at 4:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
by rokkstarrrVRV / 12/28/2013 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
by fuck you, bitchcake / 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
- Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear,… Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've… Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me…