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capslockisgood's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 10:37am / United States / Intimacy
by failure / 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, my mom threw away a bag of tiny parts belonging to a $1,700 robot. Naturally, I figured this out at midnight and had to spend 30 minutes digging through three nasty trashcans overflowing with rotten food and spiders. The bag was dripping with what looked like cheese by the time I found it. FML
by Sen728 / 09/24/2014 at 10:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money
Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML
by lucas_urev / 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
by unseeable / 08/29/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
by sonofaneuroticwench / 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by romancocks / 05/09/2014 at 4:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
by rokkstarrrVRV / 12/28/2013 at 3:42am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
by ashsaunde / 12/08/2013 at 1:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
by fuck you, bitchcake / 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I was in the basement at my grandma's house. The bathroom is on the ground floor and there's… Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared… Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature…