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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3828
  • Number of comments : 566
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.

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capnbzarr's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML


I agree, your life sucks (96144) - you deserved it (28781)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (84975) - you deserved it (6057)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML


I agree, your life sucks (45677) - you deserved it (27837)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19275) - you deserved it (45883)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (73897) - you deserved it (19126)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (69658) - you deserved it (4761)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by unlucky_vee_13 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46529) - you deserved it (13679)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (43268)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16497) - you deserved it (66511)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33773) - you deserved it (3684)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63538) - you deserved it (8299)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I was hitting on a girl that was getting ready to walk into the same class as I. We were waiting outside the room, and I told her that I heard the Professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down in a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10004) - you deserved it (33090)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by footinmouth - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11791) - you deserved it (50370)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

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Friday 2 October 2015

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