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capnbzarr

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capnbzarr

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 November 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2801
  • Number of comments : 516
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About capnbzarr : Sometimes, there's a man.

capnbzarr's page activity

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Liked!<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:44am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:36am<b>pixie158</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 7:46pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:30pm

capnbzarr's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

See all of capnbzarr's badges

capnbzarr's favorite FMLs

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34235) - you deserved it (3229)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24424) - you deserved it (2089)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

#17754607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27456) - you deserved it (3293)

On 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm - work - by MrTandy - United States (New York)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (4227)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML

#14475268
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36232) - you deserved it (3729)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by worksux (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally filled the lemonade machine with margarita mix that already had the tequila mixed in. It was served to three kids before anyone figured it out. FML

#11861261
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10804) - you deserved it (37373)

On 07/13/2010 at 10:10pm - work - by magnolia (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML

#6364949
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7457) - you deserved it (25837)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12429) - you deserved it (36110)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (86129)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92251) - you deserved it (27537)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80994) - you deserved it (5696)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML

#161077
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42580) - you deserved it (26498)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (44334)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)



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