Search for a member

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3843
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About candy29 : Hey everyone:) If you are wondering about my screen name its because my real name means sweet and candy:) I'm a laid back college student. I really enjoy listening to music and going to concerts. I have a lot of random interests, you want to know more ask:) but if you ask me something pervy then I might just ignore you. haha.

candy29's page activity

Visits<b>Arnvs</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 9:51pm<b>ptvbabe229</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 5:12pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 7:28am<b>hullarms</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 2:26pm<b>cookies61889</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:31pm<b>nightstalker94</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 6:06pm<b>kylefitz20</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 12:32pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:21pm<b>jezuzfreak96</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:16am<b>e077</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:33pm<b>justinccp</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 3:07am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:20am<b>petrolhead</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:37am<b>sparklycupcake08</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:31am<b>suoerkewl</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 6:44pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 9:48am<b>Reidar</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:52am

candy29's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of candy29's badges

candy29's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

by sisterly love / 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

by Nanana32 / 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing / 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

by GetHardOrGoHome / 03/31/2012 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

by greeneyedpothead / 03/29/2012 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my sister set it so all the Yahoo articles I read are published on my Facebook wall. This would have been fine had I not decided to read, "Does the gynecologist care if you shave?" FML

by embarrassed / 01/30/2012 at 10:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

by upupandaway / 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes. FML

by milly / 12/20/2011 at 5:43am / Norway (More og Romsdal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

by Username / 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

by FailedSniper / 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 1:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy