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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
calilovesneb's favorite FMLs
by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 1:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Kids
Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML
by CapitolSouthSux / 09/19/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Transportation
Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML
by AwkwardPartyBear / 09/17/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML
by sommmerrrr / 09/15/2013 at 12:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML
by CityBoysNow / 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by /(•'_'•)\ / 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 12:34pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
by the other man / 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML
by sweetnan / 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Miscellaneous
- Today, while on a six hour flight, someone offered to pay me $20 to swap seats with them. It seemed… Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him,…
- Today, as an overprotective mother, I asked my 19 year-old son, who was going to spend his day on… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…