About cajunman95 : Love to write stories and listen to music as well as box or do like anything martial art related although I have only done boxing in a professional manner.
cajunman95's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
cajunman95's favorite FMLs
by kana__ / 01/21/2015 at 11:26am / Japan / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by milf / 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
by spiderwoman / 04/15/2011 at 7:47am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Animals
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
by sacked / 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was using the elliptical when I got a bad wedgie. All the ellipticals are up against a wall so after trying to pick it I finally decided to just pull down the back of my pants and underwear. I then remembered there was a window to a yoga class behind me. I mooned them all. FML
by MikeyPeters / 03/13/2009 at 12:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software… Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell… Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for…