About caggybandicoot : Jack of some trades, and I'm terrible at all of them.
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caggybandicoot's favorite FMLs
Today, someone finally came to fix my phone line after three weeks with no Internet. The engineer reconnected the phone line to the wrong apartment. I hope my neighbour is enjoying my unlimited broadband. FML
by caggybandicoot / 06/17/2016 at 10:37pm / United Kingdom (Torbay) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was okay, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by TicketMePink / 05/20/2016 at 1:57am / United States / Love
Today, I was out shopping with my son and unbeknownst to me, he had secretly added a bunch of expensive games he wanted to the trolley. I was too embarrassed at the till to make a fuss as there was a huge line behind me. I watched as my normal £50 shopping bill climbed to over £400. FML
by pissed off mother / 05/05/2016 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Money
Today, while walking down the street I thought it would be funny to moon a crowd of old people taking a photo, in a few seconds a couple of them started pointing in my direction... Turns out they were pointing at the car that ran me over shortly after. FML
by MasterMcrib / 04/17/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML
by Peepants / 03/03/2016 at 6:03pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a concert. At the end, my conductor was recognizing soloists. When he pointed at me, I was confused, but stood up anyway. It turns out he was pointing at the person behind me. I had to awkwardly sit back down in front of over 500 people. FML
by captainwhiskers / 02/23/2016 at 7:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been five days since I started my new job in a new town, just signed a lease on my new apartment too. Now I find out the company's closing down, and since I'm still on probation, I'm told I'm not entitled to any kind of severance. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2016 at 1:28am / United States (Utah) / Work
Today, I finally realized the toll working as a cashier 5 days a week during the holidays does to your psyche. I just said "Welcome To Walgreens", out of pure reflex, to my cat as she walked into my kitchen. FML
by Deweyboy / 12/21/2015 at 1:01pm / United States / Work
Today, I finally told my boyfriend I have a medical condition that makes me grow an unusual amount of hair on my face, so I shave every day. He said he was leaving me because he refuses to be with a "bearded lady". FML
by Foxy0706 / 11/10/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by Kidsthesedays / 11/09/2015 at 2:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids
Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML
by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss / 08/26/2015 at 9:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by transcendingnerd / 04/13/2015 at 6:46am / Philippines (Manila) / Kids
by m33p / 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…