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caffeineneko45's favorite FMLs
Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML
by frustrated / 07/11/2013 at 12:52am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by my honest father / 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML
by mike / 07/10/2013 at 3:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML
by tonedef / 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML
by random person / 07/09/2013 at 1:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
by richardmrcs / 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Animals
Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML
by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML
by buttuglyforeveralone :( / 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil) / Miscellaneous
Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML
by unpatriotic / 07/04/2013 at 9:13am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
by Nish / 07/03/2013 at 4:11am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm / United States (Maryland) / Work