caffeineneko45

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caffeineneko45

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1870
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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caffeineneko45's page activity

Visits<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 8:18pm<b>journeytotheend</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 3:41pm<b>Nekogami</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:56am<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 3:47am<b>iammeorami</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:06am<b>HowAreYouToday</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:56pm

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caffeineneko45's favorite FMLs

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

by pardon my English :$ / 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm / France / Work

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

by names suck and so do I / 08/08/2013 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Love

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

by noiguessitsbroken :( / 08/07/2013 at 8:24am / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Miscellaneous

Today, my apparently braindead and now ex-boyfriend asked me if "this period thing" is going to happen a lot, and said that if it is, "we're so done." FML

by Crouching Tiger, Hidden Retard / 08/06/2013 at 5:55pm / United States / Love

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

by GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack / 08/06/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

by Nick / 08/06/2013 at 10:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

by kimm1993 / 08/03/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering "that's what she said" during the eulogy. FML

by fuck people / 08/02/2013 at 4:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

by lights on forever / 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm / Turkey (Istanbul) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2013 at 11:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, after learning that my wife has been cheating on me, I decided to distract myself by playing The Sims. Not long after I began, my Sim's wife basically started cheating on him. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2013 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 3:36am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

by confused_girl / 08/01/2013 at 1:10am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy