cadenernest

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cadenernest

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 34837
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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cadenernest's page activity

Visits<b>mds9986</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:17am<b>wolfy6754</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:14am<b>Justine94_x</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:58am<b>Charblastaur</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:41am<b>Csoi</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:06pm<b>death_metal</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 12:13am<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:30pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 10:16pm<b>people_annoy_me</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 6:49am<b>Furby94</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 10:06am<b>grievousgirl</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:12am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 10:00pm<b>blayzie420</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:06pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 8:45pm<b>redwrath</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 4:07am<b>morgancreel</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 8:15am<b>ed377791</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 1:50pm

cadenernest's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cadenernest's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

by militiousroflcopter / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2010 at 10:45am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

by justme / 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm / Kids

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 9:25am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

by jazz / 01/22/2010 at 3:11am / Kids

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

by coinoperatedgirl / 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

by PeanutlyDisabled / 01/08/2010 at 2:23am / France / Kids

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, after the firetruck and EMS came to my house for an emergency, I realized that not all firefighters looked like the ones in my calendar. This depressed me more than the emergency. FML

by sad / 12/08/2009 at 10:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

by munckncruncj15 / 10/22/2009 at 12:19am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

by MrMagicMan000 / 08/25/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

by litterbox_girl / 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

by Best-stuf-on-Earth / 07/12/2009 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health