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caberon's favorite FMLs
by claubea11 / 01/01/2014 at 12:17am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML
by barebackingit / 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML
by katchoo / 11/03/2013 at 2:34am / Denmark / Animals
by StrandedWhale / 11/03/2013 at 2:21am / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 9:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Christian / 09/28/2013 at 11:21am / United States / Love
by wombats / 09/28/2013 at 10:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 7:44am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:08am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
by horriblefashionsense / 09/26/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML
by fired / 09/17/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML
by I have wood / 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML
by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by Kit / 09/16/2013 at 7:09am / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Love
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…