cLaAaNdEsTiNe

Search for a member

cLaAaNdEsTiNe

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3122
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

cLaAaNdEsTiNe's page activity

Visits<b>cdirick</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 11:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 1:16pm<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:45am<b>TheC00lCat</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:24pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 7:08am<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 1:49am<b>annabanana0328</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 1:40pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 1:11pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 4:36pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 10:49pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 4:59pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 3:52pm

cLaAaNdEsTiNe's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cLaAaNdEsTiNe's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

by Garrett / 10/01/2009 at 1:58am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML

by Greg / 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

by grossgross / 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

by snottyface / 09/25/2009 at 11:47pm / United States / Health

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

by scaredtosleep / 09/24/2009 at 5:50am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2009 at 6:23am / Singapore / Kids

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

by sara / 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

by cramps / 09/17/2009 at 9:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML

by HHIChica / 09/17/2009 at 7:14am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals

Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML

by Maggie123 / 09/14/2009 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. I have been getting explicit texts and phone calls so I just joking said to my friend, "I think someone wrote my number on a bathroom stall." At which point he said, "Sorry, I didn't think people really called those numbers." FML

by Casden / 09/13/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 2:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, at Six flags, friends and I were going to ride "Superman". People lose their phones on it easily, so I asked a friend who decided not to ride to put mine in her bag. When it ended, I learned she went and asked an employee in navy to hold onto it, but couldn't find him. Employees wear yellow. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, at Six flags, friends and I were going to ride "Superman". People lose their phones on it easily, so I asked a friend who decided not to ride to put mine in her bag. When it ended, I learned she went and asked an employee in navy to hold onto it, but couldn't find him. Employees wear yellow. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2009 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous