Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bwinski

Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 8:32am) | Search for a member

bwinski

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 February 1994 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9331
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bwinski's page activity

Visits<b>realmikeyjay</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:42pm<b>doublefury22</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:22pm<b>AnalBunny</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:36am<b>Evil_Jester</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 9:01am<b>xChaos</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>bruhwhy</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:31pm<b>manthymonkey</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:45am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:55am<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 3:43pm<b>kt26527</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:31pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:52pm<b>KingBobtheThird</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:47pm<b>kaitlynjane</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:31pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:14am<b>teresa96706</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:31am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:07pm<b>NoirChartreux</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:59am<b>iclubfrodo</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:51am

Fucked!<b>xChaos</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 4:31am

bwinski's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of bwinski's badges

bwinski's favorite FMLs

Today, I visited my 90-year-old great-grandmother and her boyfriend. This wouldn't be a problem, if this boyfriend wasn't different than the one she had yesterday. She told me not to tell him about "the other one". FML

#21521764
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (1448)

On 02/01/2016 at 11:37am - love - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, I got call from the manager for a company I applied for. Turns out, he mixed up my friend's phone number with mine, since we applied on the same day, so the manager accidentally hired her instead of me. He said the position is still mine if I want it, but they will have to let her go. FML

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

#21520327
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23247) - you deserved it (1561)

On 01/28/2016 at 3:39am - animals - by sweetie808 - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML

#21520025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (4336)

On 01/27/2016 at 10:35am - misc - by 404: Sanity Not Found (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

Today, my mom called me by her favorite TV show character's name. Again. This is the eighth time this week. I'm an only child, and I'm 15. I thought she had my name down pat by now. FML

#21517589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18558) - you deserved it (1261)

On 01/20/2016 at 10:48pm - misc - by my name is sarah - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (2231)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out why this crazy bitch slashed the tires of my car to prevent me from going to my exam. It's because I'm supposedly the curve setter for the class and she wants to get into medical school without me fucking it up for her. FML

#21515273
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (1700)

On 01/14/2016 at 5:21pm - misc - by notmyfault - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's day three of our power being off because of a glitch in the power company's computer system. They won't turn it back on until we pay the $2000 we owe from 2010. We moved here in 2012. FML

#21512601
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (1179)

On 01/07/2016 at 6:04pm - misc - by its dark - United States (California)

Today, while I was fitting an elderly gentleman for a suit, he muttered all too loudly that he'd give his left nut for a reacharound. FML

#21507671
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (1311)

On 12/25/2015 at 12:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I made a typo in a line of code, bringing the company website down. Our admin was already pissed about having to work over Christmas, and he started yelling at me and ended up punching my supervisor when he got between us. Pretty sure my screw up indirectly got the poor guy fired. FML

#21507378
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (3046)

On 12/24/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by Kat - Australia

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

#21506706
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24552) - you deserved it (2080)

On 12/22/2015 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

#21504604
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (1599)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by MystoganFT - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

#21503523
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29025) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/14/2015 at 2:29am - love - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, the small plane I was on almost crashed, all because the pilot's girlfriend figured out mid-flight that he's been cheating on her, causing her to start screaming abuse and furiously beating him. FML

#21502798
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (1268)

On 12/12/2015 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: