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bwenduh45

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bwenduh45
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 388
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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bwenduh45's favorite FMLs

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (2267)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13725) - you deserved it (29666)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (8891)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML

#17629696
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30819) - you deserved it (2001)

On 08/31/2011 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29645) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML

#15262528
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33785) - you deserved it (8356)

On 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by Jim - United States

Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML

#12535348
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12538) - you deserved it (26238)

On 08/15/2010 at 5:47am - work - by jacko (man) - Reserved

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24579) - you deserved it (3615)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

#4863125
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14460) - you deserved it (45636)

On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58211) - you deserved it (8644)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

#207731
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66652) - you deserved it (6834)

On 03/04/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by alone_forever (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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