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bugsGoRawr's favorite FMLs
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by cremyfrozentreat / 03/10/2013 at 9:40am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 3:56am / United States / Intimacy
by nopanties / 03/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML
by Username / 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health
by EunJung / 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work
by This Guy / 09/26/2011 at 1:18pm / United States / Money
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML
by gotanewmouse / 09/26/2011 at 6:37am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work
- Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see… Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle… Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding…
- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…