bryant2900

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 7:08pm)

bryant2900

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 441
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

bryant2900's page activity

Visits<b>sofeealt</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 9:04pm<b>blancoing</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:32pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:40am<b>dante_53</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:00am<b>mystical_mayham</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 9:42pm<b>truckers_wife</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:35pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 7:16pm<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:51am<b>JuzReading</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:03pm<b>caseylee222</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 12:32am<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 11:30am<b>daniellenicole76</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:01am<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 8:46pm<b>CJWilliams1984</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 3:50pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 6:26am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 2:45am<b>dinkthink</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 11:30pm<b>realhousewife10</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 10:37pm

bryant2900's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of bryant2900's badges

bryant2900's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

by QueueJumper / 02/10/2014 at 7:45pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

by wtf / 01/10/2014 at 11:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

by CutieBooty / 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 8:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy