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bryan788's favorite FMLs
by fired101 / 02/08/2010 at 1:04am / Work
Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML
by trooper93 / 01/18/2010 at 1:36am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
by gbabyy / 11/21/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by Lizofsmeg / 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm / United Kingdom (Brent) / Health
by diskdude13 / 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week they fire me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door that said "if not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60 and my job. FML
by unemployed / 09/22/2009 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2009 at 3:25am / Japan (Hyogo) / Love
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML
by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2009 at 12:02am / United States (New York) / Holidays
by Anon / 07/27/2009 at 3:32am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, my building's elevators were temporarily out of service. I climbed up 17 flights of stairs only to realize I left my keys downstairs. After the painful climb back up, the elevator lights came on. FML
by Tired / 07/13/2009 at 9:25am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Health
by RDMdragoon / 07/13/2009 at 7:16am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML
by Dee / 07/12/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by T4K3R5 / 07/06/2009 at 4:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
- Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…